Panic, Friends and Birds

I had a panic attack at the beginning of the week. Learning, packing and tidying up the apartment made it pretty obvious that my flight to Africa is coming closer and closer. Some goodbye hugs were already given the week before but still I felt kind of calm and relaxed.  And suddenly, I panicked. Doubts, fear, farewells … it all came over me like a sudden summer rain. I asked myself what I had thought when booking this. I already started missing my friends (even though I still saw them). I was (and still am) sure that I can´t learn all this stuff about mammals, birds, reptiles, trees, grasses, astronomy, ecology and geology and had been to the Senckenberg Museum, Frankfurts archeological museum where I met a friend who works there as a palaeontologist. What a stupid idea! As happy as he was for me that I am doing this course as much he also expressed his doubt that it is possible to learn that all in a year. Luckily, I didn´t cancel the whole thing.

Within all that frustration and uncertainty, it was also time to finally say goodbye to friends and family. I am used to travel and have done some “sabbatical” leaves within the last years so I should be used to it, but this time was different and especially hard.

And now, two days later, most of the stress is gone and I am sitting here in Johannesburg in a B&B, waiting for the adventure to start next Tuesday.

I am still not convinced that I will pass this course but whatever happens, it will not be a failure but an unforgettable once-in-a-lifetime experience. I am going to spend the next 5 months in sub-Saharan regions in southern Africa to learn about nature and the animals and plants living in it. I am excited (more than scared, so that´s a progress) and looking forward to what comes.

Weird enough: When I today arrived at the guesthouse, I went to the pool to relax a bit. It was very quiet, and some birds were flying around, twittering the one and other song. In the past I would have cared at all. I would have heard them as I hear them in my hometown – as a random whatever kind of bird that is around. But as part of my training course, I must study them, learn their sound, their names, their appearance. So, what happened was that instead of relaxing at the pool, I pulled out my bird book and started identifying the birds 😊 I guess, this is a good sign!

Good night,
Sininho